Posted in Behaviour

Teacher versus tears…

This is one of the few areas where I’ve a disadvantage compared to those of my colleagues who have children on their own: tears scare me.

The first time I made a child cry was on my second day or so. He is about 5, and as later found out quite the emotional rollercoaster. (Good luck future partner!) He doesn’t have a bad bone in him but he does like to have his own way. And when I first said no, he ran to the corner, started kicking the wall and cried big crocodile tears. Man, was I scared! I’m not an experienced educator but I’m kinda sure crying kids are not good… Thankfully his rollercoaster found the elevator button soon, and in 5 minutes he was grand.

Still, teacher vs tears, 0:1.

Round 2

The second occasion took me by complete surprise. This cheeky boy was making my life really hard so I told him we’re going to speak the director in the break. He had a loud voice in the class but by the time we arrived to the bottom of the stairs, he was in tears. I could not quite believe my eyes, totally the last thing I’d expected from him! In a second my gentle heart took a turn and wanted to hug him to take those tears away. I felt so bad, I was nearly in tears myself.

Despite that your lad’s been behaving since so teacher vs tears, 1:1.

Round 3

Another class, another cheeky lad who drove me to the end if my patience.

“After class we’re going to the director! I’m not joking, had it enough with you!” I said to him in my most serious voice. The class must’ve felt the edge of losing it in my words coz suddenly everyone was quiet. Your lad shrunk in his chair. For the next 15 minutes he was the quietest I’ve ever seen him. Then, when we were packing, the waterworks came. He’s got the cutest little face, you see, huge brown eyes, the puffy cheeks of a toddler even at the age of 7.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Do you not wanna go to the director?”

He shook his head.

“Will you bring your notebook the next time?”

He nodded.

“Then we’ll wait until next class” I said.

Teacher vs tears, 1:2…

Round 4

Today I lost it. I’m not proud of it but I totally did. There’s a boy who is the completely unmanageable in class. Keeps shouting, kicking, throwing pencils and tantrums. I’ve been told he has some attention deficit and I respected it but in today’s class I literally had to call him out in every single sentence I said. This is no way to do anything and the rest of the children kept missing out on the lesson, too.

So still during the class I went down to see if the director was there. He wasn’t but I got our office angel up, who talked to our boy. It didn’t help much though after she left but at least we tried.

I wanted to thank her effort so I went to talk to her during the break and suddenly I noticed it was me in tears. Tears of frustration, failure, regret – that little boy does not suit the class environment but he’s the sweetest guy one on one. He stays after to talk to me, he uses English and is rather intelligent. I hated the fact that I took our problem outside of the class, I hated it that I don’t have a solution for him and I hated it that all that had to manifest in crying.

Teacher vs tears, 1:3.

Let’s hope we stop the score here coz’ I’m not liking this direction.

– Your tired, emotional and guilty teacher

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My soul breathes music and exhales words.

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